Welcome to the very first official blog post of Peens in the Wild! I am so happy that I have found my Peen People, that special category of humans that enjoys spying the phallic shape as much as I do.
This week’s focus is the common peen. Not common in shape or size or appearance, but commonly beloved by many. These are the peens that I get sent over and over again. Classic peen. Well-loved peen. Much-heralded peen. I loved one of them so much that I actually bought the shirt (you’ll see in a moment).
Take a peek at this favorite peens list and let me know if any of these are your favorites, too! Here are the top four all-time favorite peens, per my non-scientific tally of Facebook messenger and tags, instagram messages, and emails!
Yeah, That’s Not a Dog
I cannot tell you how many times I saw this shirt because I lost count. Emails. Messenger. Social media tags. Not hundreds of times, but definitely dozens.
Was it annoying? No. Okay, a little bit. But I loved every single one. Plus, I have two dogs and had just created Peens in the Wild. I decided to bite the big one and order the damn shirt.
I was not disappointed. Here is my photo shoot with the “Wait, That’s Not a Dog” t-shirt the day after it came in the mail. Yes, the caption is, “It Came.” Yes, I took pictures surrounded by wood.
Would you like your own t-shirt? Go here for plain doggy-peen t-shirts and here for the fancy ones like mine!
Yeah, That’s Not Sausage
The second most favorite peens found in the wild is this very sad photo that is probably the best accidental marketing photo I’ve ever seen. I mean, it’s not even real sausage, it’s BEYOND SAUSAGE. This plant-based sausage is BEYOND CARING. Honestly, though, if they wanted me to pimp this product, I would totally do it. I want to put it in my mouth and know what it tastes like.
Yeah, That’s A Pepper Peen
The third most favorite peen in the wild sent to me is the Misfit Market genius marketing photo, if it was intentional. What better way to get people’s attention than by presenting something that could be a peen?
You Say Easter, I Saw Ostara
This image represents a true “peens in the wild” experience for those who sent it to me. Heck, I even took a shot of this myself while shopping for Easter candy in March. I promptly forgot to post it, and was endlessly thankful for those who took their own money shots and sent them to me. Eternal thanks!
These egg-peen columns fit right in with the Ostara pagan celebration, which was about – among other things – fertility. Planting seeds. Mmmm-hmmmmm. What better way to celebrate than to enjoy nature’s peen?
Meanwhile, we can only wait for the egg-peen’s annual return, like the Great Pumpkin. It will be our special holiday!
Thank you, dear ones, for the submissions! To keep up with daily submissions,
visit Peens in the Wild on Facebook or Instagram!
As always if you like my stuff, consider buying me a coffee!